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雅思大作文高分范文

时间:2017-02-22 07:52:19 来源:免费论文网

篇一:雅思作文高分范文

智课网IELTS备考资料

雅思作文高分范文

您当前的位置 ? 智课教育官网 ? 雅思 ? 雅思写作 ? 文章正文

出国英语考试有哪些 雅思6.5是什么水平 雅思阅读评分标准 托福阅读评分标准 雅思和托福的区别

今天智课教育雅思频道小编为大家整理了雅思作文高分范文,供大家参考,以下是详细内容。

What can education bring us? Is “high mark” the real destiny of education? As researchers and scholars are investigating thissubject, the accurate definition of education begins to have slight difference from what was in

people‘s mind before. Education, the bridge between teachers and students, the mediator between individual and society, means more than knowledge transmit, but being a wholly developed person in the society.

First,education brings us basic knowledge and skill to survive. From primary school on, students learn subjects like Maths, Physics, English, or in other words, academic subjects to gain the initial knowledge of the nature and

world, which are extremely useful for our future career. Upon this, students also learn skills like sewing, cooking, and mending bicycles, which help them a lot in their future family life. To this extend, education provided us with fundamental concepts of living.

Second,education can cultivate our sentiment. Apart from academic subjects, art subjects such as music and art seems more interesting toward students. From these subjects, one can enjoy the pleasure of listening to music, try to guess a composer‘s emotion when writing a music chapter, or understand the meaning of a piece of drawing, from which process they themselves are edified and assimilated, and finally have their own clear opinion on what is beauty.

Third,education makes an individual adapted to the society. Being innocent and naive, young people always find it hard to immerge into the complicated environment, and feel frustrated. Through education like communication skills, students may know the essence of getting on with other people. This kind of education influences our personality and views everyone as a whole individual in the big family of society.

Above all,knowledge,emotion,and personality form the most important part of the content of education. The aim of education is to teach a per son become a completely developed individual.

以上就是智课教育雅思频道为大家整理的雅思作文高分范文,希望对大家有帮助,更多资讯、资料请访问智课教育雅思频道

篇二:雅思高分作文四大要素及高分范文

智课网IELTS备考资料

雅思高分作文四大要素及高分范文

摘要: 以上就是小编为大家带来的是关于雅思高分作文四大要素,想要取得雅思写作高分除了要有扎实的雅思写作基础之外还要有一定分方法技巧,今天小编就为大家带来雅思写作高分要素,希望大家能好好运用。

在 雅思 作文备考过程中,许多考生会遇到诸多难题, 小马 过河老师建议:不妨多看看先前的雅思高分作文范例,从中归纳出一些要点。这里所说的“看“并非指单纯的死记硬背,而是要变通的运用。写作考试TASK 2,题目有两道,第一道是看图说明(A类)或者书信(G类),要求150字,20分钟;第二道是议论文或说明文(议论为主),要求250字,40分钟。下面是一篇雅思作文的评分标准及高分范文,希望对大家复习考试有所帮助。

雅思考试 的评分标准包括四个方面:

Task Response

Coherence and Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

雅思的4Gates就是其评分标准,分别为“内容”,“逻辑结构”,“语法的准确使用和范围”以及“词汇量”四个标准。根据下面的全面修改案例,读者可以清楚的看到一篇5.5分的雅思范文是如何在修改之前蜕变成为高分作品。 Cambridge 8 – Test 2

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.

In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make?

Has this become a positive or negative development?

原文:

Nowadays the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology.

Yes, the technology has changed the people’s interaction in very enhanced manner. Earlier people use to wait and try to find easy way to contact their friends or relatives leaving far. In past there was no quick technology to contact or to establish any communication between one person to another person. The drawback with past communication systems

was that it were very slow and were time taking process such as telegrams, letter etc. People used to afraid to write their personal feedbacks or things to their love ones due to insecure medium of communication. When it comes to

professional level, the privacy and accuracy should be maintain but, to that time there were no secure communications.

Now the things have changed around, people from far distance contact their loves one in an easy and quick ways which improves the interaction level between two person. Quality the level of the interaction between people to

people, has improved because the people are equipped with high-tec technology which enhances the communication. There are many many medium which are available now such as internet, called cards etc.

The technology has provided the mobility faster which help people to talk or to interact at any time anywhere in the world.

People can contact their friend or relatives any time they want. It has become so easier and feriendly to be in touch with your feriends, relatives even with the unknown people.

原文翻译:

今天,由于科技的发展人们相互交流的方式也发生了变化。

是的。技术改善了人们的交流方式。以前人们总是期待找到方便的方法联系居住在异地的亲朋好友。以前没有高效的技术帮助人们沟通交流。以往的通讯系统的问题是速度慢,费时间,比如:电报和信件等。在过去,人们不敢给爱人写一些私密的事情因为担心通信不够安全。专业的通信技术应该是安全的、准确的,但是在当时根本没有安全的通信可言。

现在,这些事情已经改变了,住在远处的人们利用一种高效的方式联系他们的爱人。这些方式改善了人们之间的交流方式。因为人们使用了改善交流的高科技,所以他们交流的方式已经得到改善。现在有了很多这类媒体,比如:国际互联网、语音卡等。

这些技术提供了更快的移动性,帮助人们在任何时间、世界上的任何地方与他人沟通。

现在人们能够在任何时间联系亲朋好友。和朋友、家人以及陌生人的沟通变得更容易了。

(注:上述的习作存在语法错误和表达错误,因此对应的翻译也有一定出入。)

Sample Answer:

This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 5.5 score. Here is the examiner’s comment:

这是一位考生写的5.5分作文。下面是考官的评语。

The topic introduction has been copied from the task and is deducted from the word count. This leaves the answer underlength at 236 words, so the candidate loses marks for this.

文章的开篇是从题目中抄来的,所以不能算字数。剩下的只有236个字,考生因此失分。

This answer addresses both questions, but the first is not well covered in terms of how actual relationships have

changed. Nevertheless, there is a clear opinion that the effects have been positive and relationships have improved, with some relevant ideas to support this. There is a general progression to the argument, with some effective use of time markers and linkers. There is also some repetition, however. Paragraphing is not always logical, and ideas are not always well linked. A range of vocabulary that is relevant to the topic is used, including some precise and natural expressions. There are quite a lot of mistakes in word form, word choice or spelling, but these do not usually reduce understanding. A variety of sentence type is used, but not always accurately. Errors in grammar and punctuation are distracting at times, but only rarely cause problems for the reader.

此文回答了两个问题,但是在回答第一个问题时,并没有充分讨论问题中关于现实中的关系是如何变化的。但是,文章展示了清晰的观点(这些影响都是好的,而且这些关系都有所改善)并配以相关的观点支持。文章的论证循序渐进,使用了很多表示时间的提示词以及连接词,但是个别有些重复。分段不够逻辑,而且一些观点没有充分的关联。使用了一些与主题相关的词汇,包括准确并自然的表达。虽然有一些词性、词义以及拼写错误,但是并不会太影响理解。使用了各种句型,但是很多不太准。语法错误和标点错误有时会干扰理解,但是不会给读者产生太大的麻烦。

修改意见:

思路问题 本文共有两个问题,其中第一个问题在考生的作品中被忽略了。

In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make?

对于这样的问题,可以单独使用一段来回答。参考如下:

Model: Communication Technologies not only have great effects on the relations living apart but also have changed the way people befriend. Specifically, the employment of the mobile phone and webs helps friends and relatives keep in touch with each other and exchange emotions anywhere anytime; the popularity of webs and the use of online chatting tools ease people to meet some new people who have their same ideas or characteristics as those of them.

大意:通讯技术不但对身处异地的亲朋好友之间有着巨大的影响,而且也在很大程度上改变了人们结识新朋友的方式。具体来说,手机和网络的使用使得亲朋好友之间可以随时随地沟通消息、传递情感;网络的普及以及聊天软件的使用让很多人更容易认识一些和他们志同道合或是有着共同点的素未谋面的新朋友。

流畅、连贯性问题 见下文

语法问题: 见下文

词汇问题: 见下文

修改后:

Nowadays,.(It is true that technology has shifted people’s communicative ways. 利用It is true that的句式突出后面的事件;Change和shift是同义词替换;the way people interact和communicative way是同义词替换。这样的变化可以避免引用题目中的原词。)

(拒绝非正式的用法。)The technology has changed the people’s interaction in very enhanced manner. Earlier people

used(前后时态必须一致。)to wait and try to find easy ways(名词单复数)to contact their friends or relatives leaving far. In the past, there was no (词汇使用不当,应该改成effective)technology to contact others or to establish any communication between two people. And(重要的连接词,表示本句和上一句共同解释为什么“人们一直在期待找到更有效的通讯方式。”)the drawback ofthe past communication systems was that they (指代不清,这里指代的是communication systems)were too (表示“太”。)slow and were time-consuming (表示“费时”), including (这是应该使用分词形式,表示对主句的communication ways的具体描述。)the telegrams, the letter etc. Not only that,(这里需要连接词)people used to be afraid to write their personal feedbacks or things to their loved ones because of (because of 强调“外因”;due to 强调“根据”)information security (根据上下文理解,此处应该表达的是“信息安全”)of

communication. (They worried their letters might be stolen or read by some strangers.这里可以继续描述人们的担心。)

However,(上文主要讨论过去的情况,而接下来将讨论现在的变化)now the things have changed around.(必须避免使用“,”连接两个句子。正确的处理方法是,要么采用断句的方法,要么添加连词。)People in a long

distance contact their lovesd one in (effective and efficient) ways, which improve(主谓一致,which代替ways。)the interaction level between two persons. Quality (用词重复)of the interaction between people and people(主谓之间不能添加“,”。)has been improved(这里使用被动是因为沟通质量的提升是因为技术的发展。)because they are equipped with high-techdevices which enhances their communication. There are many(重复)mediummediaavailable such as internet, called cards etc.So the technology has provided better mobility , which help people to talk or keep in touch with each other at any time anywhere in the world.(不应该单独成段,应该和上一段结合在一起。)(本句应该被删除,因为没有提出任何新的观点,并且与上文的句子非常重复。)

以上就是小编为大家带来的关于 雅思写作 的全部内容,希望大家能对本期内容有一个大致的了解,预祝大家在雅思考试当中取得好成绩。

编辑推荐:

雅思作文议论文如何做?

雅思写作基础教程下载

雅思阅读定位词的多种“演变”(part1)

相关字搜索: 雅思写作材料

篇三:雅思大作文范文

雅思大作文范文

Writing task 2

Difference between countries are becoming less evident recently. People can see the same films, brands, fashion, advertisements and TV channels. To what extent do disadvantage outweigh advantages?

As a result of the accelerating process of globalization in various aspects, young people in different countries are more likely to enjoy the same music, films, or television programs, which invariably result in some similarities.

Some people may claim that it is more a curse than a blessing for the world. One arguement commonly raised that this process will be damaging to the globe diversity. When locals are bombarded with foreign products or culture, they may gradually abandon their traditional values or ways of life, so this would have a negative impact on their national or cultural identities in the long run. They even quote numerous examples such as the Eskimo in Iceland and Mosuo ethnic group in Southwest China to illustrate their point of view.

While this is particularly true some minority cultures, I want to point out that they are still special cases instead of the general rule.

Generally speaking, sharing something across the globe can contribute to a deeper mutual understanding between difference nations. For example, a piece of country music by John Denver may well shed light on the peaceful daily life of Americans while a pop song by Cui Jian may introduce to Westerners a much more familiar China. What is more, an experience of some alien cultures may encourage more appreciation of the local ones, rather than assimilation or malfunction.

There is overwhelming evidence on this when we consider Japan, or China, or even the US, which tend to incorporate the international elements into the local. To conclude, I am quite optimistic about the prospect of an increasingly similar world. Of course, some minority groups may be put at a disadvantage for they cannot receive equal attention as the superpowers. So I also advocate that governments or other bodies should make efforts to bring these minorities into the international horizon.

WRITING TASK 2

Some people think government should invest more money in teaching science than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

范文:

Knowledge is power, Francis bacon wrote long ago. Education has a key to play in one’s growth and a nation’s development.

Education is the driving force of productivity. Keeping this in mind, numerous countries and governments are paying closer attention to the cultivation of talents. People differ greatly in their views as to how to wisely allocate educational budget, some people assert that instead of supporting other subjects, national investment in science is desirable. As I see it, government should place equal stress on both science and arts.

Granted, plenty of evidence and arguments could be easily found to prove that it is advisable for a nation to subsidize science. For a start, the competition among different countries, to some extent, amounts to the competition of gifted people. Science and technology is the stimulating factor of the development of productivity. Large amounts of talents could inject new life into a nation’s prosperity. Besides, in comparison with art students, those who are better equipped with science knowledge such as computer, business and accounting could create more commercial value.

Nevertheless, it is rather superficial to simply say that national budget should be only restricted to science investment. The mightiness of a nation involves many aspects and the cultivation of good citizens or talents is to realize one’s comprehensive development. The construction of a country needs enterprisers, mathematicians and scientist, yet, on no account can we ignore the immense value of artists, writers, musicians. In addition to science subjects, literature, history, philosophy, music, art and PE should also become the aim of education. Literature strengthens one' s cultural deposit, history deepens one' s insight into life, philosophy fosters one' s analytical thinking, music moulds one' s temperament, art cultivates one’s artistic eye and PE enhances one’s health index. In these senses, art still deserves enough attachment and support. Art talents are indispensable to the betterment of a country.

Overall, I re-affirm my conviction that education should not have too much utilitarian, conversely, it needs to render more concerns over one' s spiritual growth and character-training. Ideal educational policy should place equal significance on science investment and other subjects.

TASK 2

Arecent newspaper article reports that a 14-year-old boy who seriously destroyed his school got a punishment to clean streets instead of sent to the prison, do you think this is right? Or the young criminals should be sent to the jail.

范文:

Children nowadays are exposed in a diversified environment where they have absolute access to internet, being able to befriend with people from a variety of backgrounds. This may result in children’s anti-social behavior and there is a heat debate on whether teenagers who commit serious crimes should be punished by doing some volunteering jobs or being imprisoned.

Contributing to their community can be an effective way to tell them that they are victimizing other people. One argument in its favor is that they are immature. It would be a difficult thing to predict the consequences of their behavior and law knowledge might not be sufficiently acquired at that young age. Another important factor in this respect is that they are formable in character compared to adult criminal, thus it is better to educate them. Doing something valuable to their society can embed a sense of responsibility in them and give them an opportunity to reflect on their deviance, which will truly rectify their criminality.

However, of course those who advocate custody sentence may have some plausibility to some extent. Allowing them to recognizing their mistakes is the priority of taking adolescent law breakers into prison. Once received harsh penalty, preventing persistent crime seems to be possible. But the believers of this have ignored the issue over what if they are negatively influenced by other prisoners? How should they face the society with an ex-record especially when finding jobs.

In conclusion, I therefore believe that having faith in the young who go astray cannot be a more effective way to solve raging young criminal activities and taking responsibility for their living surroundings is the best way to do this.

TASK 2

News media has become more influential in people’s lives. Others believe it is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

It is increasingly true that individuals are bombarded with a wealth of news information from text message, websites and other mass media, which, in my point of view, will trigger more undesirable outcomes than the temporary rosy picture it brings.

The lack of long term concentration and distraction are two of the problems that dwarf many advantages the news media bring. Due to the innovation and development of technology, we are more easily to be informed with non-stop news every moment. The news, which is broadcasted frequently, covers a wide range of information which might be too trivial and fragmentary. Although it may hallucinate those who are informed with the news that they are more connected to the world, the recipients are also likely to be put into a dilemma where they can hardly apply themselves to completing some task requiring consistent focus.

Another drawback the news media generate is that many news media are profit-oriented, which means their ultimate goal is to seek the maximum revenue. In order to seize the attention and arouse the interest of many viewers of audiences, the news media are likely to circulate more negative news concerning some violence, criminal cases and disasters, thereby disseminating some adverse values to people’s life.

It is of course true that the news media are not to be blamed in every perspective. In some ways, news media can bring more fairness and justice to public’s life because they can help to expose some immoral or illegal dirty tricks to the supervision of the whole society. For example, the power of government can be functioned more soundly and some basic right can be guaranteed if news media keep an eye on authorities.

To conclude, the assets pale in comparison with many of the disadvantages the news media bring. And individual should be prudent about their exposure to them.

Task 2

In some countries, the government has tried to reduce traffic. For instance, they imposed a congestion tax during rush hour. Do you think this development is positive or negative?

The traffic congestion issue has long been a public concern especially in some large cities worldwide. Whether governments should be involved in solving this problem has triggered a heated controversy. It is true that government intervention can bring some benefits to some extent, it is opposed by some people though.

Undoubtedly, governments possess greater authority than any other parties in the society, which means their intervention is comparatively effective. For example, the implement of congestion tax can directly lead to the decline of traffic during those rush hours because of the increasing driving cost. Another advantage of government intervention is that governments can impact the public to a wider extent. Unlike some actions taken by the social communities, large companies or individuals, the projects carried out by governments have restrictions on every citizen living in the city or country. Once the traffic congestion is reduced, there will be many positive effects followed by, for instance, the commuting time can be largely reduced for those who need to travel to and from work.

On the other hand, the extra tax raised by the government will impose a negative effect on some people. One potential group influenced by this policy are those who have to drive to and from work. If this measure comes into effect, the financial burden on them is definitely higher. As a result, the well-being of these people may experience a decline, which is against the aim of government policies.

In conclusion, benefits and drawback co-exist in terms of this tax policy. It can effectively solve the traffic problems to a large extent, while some damages can be caused to those who are taxed especially in the financial way.


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