篇一：名师：雅思图表作文6分范文实例解析
名师：雅思图表作文6分范文实例解析
在雅思考生中，普遍存在一种观点，认为小作文只占 1/3 的比重，而大作文占了 2/3 ，所以在复习的时候应该以大作文为重，考试的时候也应该先写大作文，而后再写小作文。但是在对考生实际考分的观察中我们发现，往往小作文写得好的同学，作文的总分相对较高。之前有个基础班的女生，把时间都花在了小作文上，大作文只写了个开头，但作文的总分居然拿到了 5 分。
这是什么原因呢？因为大作文在短时间内提高有限，而小作文却因套路很多，句式有限，在短时间内只要认真学习，就不难提高。所以要特别提醒广大考生，尤其是时间非常仓促的考生，千万不要忽视了小作文的学习！
以下提供的是一份 6 分的曲线图作文范文，后附考官的评语。同学们对照自己的文章，看下是否达到了 6 分的标准？
(以下内容由朗阁教育集团海外考试研究中心提供，转载请注明出处，违者必究！)
题目：
WRITING TASK 1
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
The graph below gives information about cinema attendancein Australia between 1990 and the present, with projections to 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.
【考生样文】
The graph shows percentages of cinema attendance at least once a year in Australia between 1990 to 2010 with projections for the future. The graph is described by 4 groups of different ages which are 14 to 24, 25 to 34, 35 to 49 and over 50 year olds.
The youngest age group people have been going to cinema more than any other age groups and the percentage has been keeping very high at
approximately90% since 1990. It is predicted to keep the high and to increase more from 2006.
The middle age groups people have enjoyed going cinema between 60% to 80%. The percentage of age 25 to 34 group has been higher than the one of age 35 to 49 group but from 2006 the percentage of 25 to 34 year olds people will decrease while the one of 35 to 49 year olds people will increase and get higher than the other one.
The oldest people seem to go cinema less than the other groups but the percentageof the attendance has slightly going up by 15% from 40% to 55% between 1990 to 2004 and it will keep increasing to 60% by 2010.
Overall, it seems the younger age people, the more going to cinema.(210 words)
【考官评语】
Band 6
This response addresses the requirements of the task and selects
relevant material to describe. Key features and an overview are presented, although clearer highlighting, more support and a more comprehensive overview would be needed to reach a higher band. Information is
well-organised and there is a clear overall progression in the response. There is some effective use of cohesive devices, but only limited use of reference
and substitution. The range of vocabulary is not wide, but it is adequate for the task. Control of word form and spelling is consistentlygood, although there are some clumsy noun phrases that indicatelimited flexibility. The candidate
attempts to use a mix of simple and complex sentences, but control is variable and grammatical errors or omissionsare quite intrusive at times. Figures are poorly integrated into sentences and indicate evident limitations.
篇二：雅思6分 大作文范文参考
? 批改By Will
本次批改严格按照ILETS大作文评分标准进行。ILETS大作文评分项：TR (论证扣题度), CC (连贯性及一致性), GRA (语法范围及精准度), LR (词汇资源)。文末会进行总评及打分。
? 文中标识： 用词不当逻辑错误语法错误修改添加
In recent years, medical care has been increasingly advancing which (注意你指的是前面一整段话，加逗号改为非限制性的。) results in the much longer life span than ever before. This brings both strength and drawbacks (你每次写strength和drawback这两个词的时候最好把对象也说出来：This . In my opinion, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
Admittedly, the increase of life expectancy will individually improve the sense of happiness (用词改进：may lead to ). When one has the opportunity to enjoy the longer life, that means much more time can be spent with their family members. In addition, as the medical care advancing (用词改进：, not only a much longer life but also a much healthier life would be achieved for everyone. Then people are highly likely to retire from work later than once did, accompanied by creating more value for the whole society. For example, as one aging, he becomes increasingly experienced in terms of special filed which he is always involved in. if the retirement time is prolonged, economical or social value will be continuallyavailable. (这个太像解释了不是例子，不是实际生活中发生的而是你的推测。如果想不出新闻之类的话，你可以举一些年龄越大贡献越大的职业，例如：Accountants, scientists and However, there are a number of downside risks which cannot be ignored. One of the major drawbacks is that the increasing number of people caused by the much longer life span will lead to the shortage ofresources. This can be clearly demonstrated by the fact that (注意你后面讲的不是一个fact，而是一个possibility， 这个句型可以改为：As a consequence, it may be very possible that) much less resources such (as)investments of children’s education and complete traffic system are available for citizens resulted from more fringe benefits for the elderly who live longer lives. Another adverse aspect is that there are much less space for people to live in. Because the birth rate is higher than the death rate caused by the increasing life expectancy (这个观点稍稍偏了，出生率更多是由生活保障比如工资福利等引起的。所以人口数量只是暂时或者不应该是问题，问题在于：Aging population-人口老龄化). What is worse, the consequent increase of environment pollution and traffic congestion can exert undesirable effects on people’s daily life. As we all know, the pollutants and wastes brought by daily life will
climbed (原型) with the number of population jumping. There is no doubt that people are more easy likely to (would be more likely to) get struck in traffic jams when the figures of people and vehicles become more.
没有结论？
总评6.0 （TA5.5 CC6.5 LR6.0 GRA6.5）
1. 内容上必须要有一个结论，这是六分以上的必须要求。
2. 反方的坏处还可以考虑：aging population; burden on government in providing social security for all等
3. 词汇的重复性依旧稍稍强了，不过基本准确。
4. 语法变化运用不错。从句和分词等数量足够，可以尝试倒装。
篇三：09年9月12号雅思考试大作文6分范例
09年9月12号雅思考试大作文6分范例
9月12日雅思作文真题还原(附高分范文)
Task 1 Table表格
The table below compares the data of the world's large-scale sea fishing industries and small-scale sea fishing industries.
(Number of employees, annual catch, annual salary, annual oil consumption) Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
P.S.据考证，今天的小作文是2006年1月17日中国大陆A类图表作文原题. Task 2教育类
Caring for children is probably the most important thing of the society. It is
suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take the childcare training courses.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?
高分范文参考:
Children are playing a significant role in contemporary families, especially in some nuclear ones. An obvious phenomenon exists that parents pay much more attention on the area of child-caring. There has been much dispute whether or not parents should attend childcare training course. I personally believe the course is important for parents.
In the first place, parents must face a lot of intense competition and high
pressure by having to struggle for their lives and rarely spend spare time with their kids. Consequently, education of children has always been neglected. Unlike adults, children don’t have the ability to distinguish the pros and cons. They need to be taught that what kind of behavior they should follow. Parents are willing to attend this training course as a previous opportunity to seek a better way on how to educate their kids.
On the other hand, children have always been spoiled by the elders, especially in China due tothe “One Child policy”, the kids can get whatever they want, even though some items which harm them. For instance, parents offer candy even though they know that candy can cause obesity and tooth damage if their
child is keen on candy. Under such circumstances, children have become
smarty-pants. The course can teach parents how to use a proper approach to take care of their kids and lead them into an appropriate way of life.
Last but not the least, through this course, parents can obtain some practical and helpful strategies and skills for further education. The relationship between children and parents could be closer and both of them can benefit from this training course.
From what we have discussed above, we can safely draw a conclusion that the child-care training course should be strongly recommended。（以上范文仅供参考）。
《雅思大作文6分范文》
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